When Success Is Out of Reach. So Close, So Far Away.
Have you been scarred? Until now, I did not quite know about the scars of success. In the past I did become aware of self destruct — the real possibility of a person knowingly and consciously blocking their path to greatness. And, took time to accept its existence despite its absurdity.
Then I got older, then I grew some more. Then, I wanted even more success. So I learned some more. On your journey to great success, you will inevitably get your battle success scars. I thought hard work was all it took, not quite.
Have you jumped from one cliff only to fall short in reaching the other cliff? We enjoy the hero’s journey. Happy endings and things always working out. We celebrate the startup unicorns that turns into big corporations. Those who leaped in faith and hope and courage against all odds — And made it to the other side on both feet. Those who don’t quite make it are forgotten, left to deal with their reality and the weight of unfruitful faith, hope and courage.
Have you reached for your dream only to fall short? I have. But things always worked out for me — so what does this actually mean? Did I forget to give the glory back to God? did the little wins get to my head and I lost my way and this is a way of finding my path back to humility? — these are just some of the thoughts that swims through ones’ mind as they question how come hardwork and dedication did not translate into achieved potential.
Have you reached the stage where your gift is also the source of your difficulty? This also I did not know existed. How could a gift also be a curse? then I watched documentaries on others, especially those who’s gift made them famous and their celebrity status becomes a thorn on their side. Their old self, the one they regard as their true self, forever gone. Lost. Only to be remembered in memory. Their actions scrutinized. The way they spend their money analyzed and explained so as to not offend anyone. Goes to show, no one really has it easy but as this one documentary made sure to point out — the artist would rather cry in a lamboghini. I find comfort in knowing that the path to greatness is immensely tough. Hardwork gets you in the game but its not enough, And hardwork is not easy. Everything, including yourself, would test you, and often times work against you. Every single due has to be paid.
Has your once present self made impulsive decision that now affects your current present self? I grew up with the lesson of not being selfish, do things that benefits others too — unless I absolutely have to do something in my best interest. But I did not quite know, I could also be selfish in my present self, build up a huge tab my future self would have to suffer through. Maybe I knew it in a distant sense like racking up credit card debt, getting a car loan for seven years but I did not quite understand it as me (present self) being “selfish” but that’s really what it is — especially when the now present self did not get to enjoy, improve or benefit from the action my past self undertook. A mortgage yes, you’d enjoy and congratulate your past self but for those sitting in jail, they’re paying a huge price for something their past self (that’s since moved on) engaged in. No one taught me any of these all my years growing up.
Have you intentionally done something you know you do not want to do? Absolutely. It was so black and white growing up. “Ew, why do you smoke? You could just stop you know. Just say no.” But then you get older and realize what’s in play is simply a messed up reward system that’s now been cognitively accepted as identity. Asking a person to simply walk away from “their identity” is not a simple ask. Then I look in my life and think how is it if I know I would rather not do something yet I do it but overall have a healthy self control? Reminds me of Romans 7:15–20.
Has your mind played a trick on you? I remember when my friend introduced me to the song. Then I became aware of the power of my mind to literally bend reality. But then it starts to become ever more evident. Once in a while you continue to make a point, your mind tells your brain these next words would hurt the other person’s feelings, maybe don’t say it, but you follow through anyway — making your point, appearing smart, at the expense of the other person. Or, you think the only thing you need right now is to go home and sleep instead of being stuck in your cubicle. Despise each passing minute, only to finally get home and nope, eyes wide awake. How is it the tools that are meant to help us, could also lead us astray. Yet, we have a life time to learn how to manage these powerful inbuilt arsenals we have — by the time we finally reach a place of mastery, if such a place exists, how many years would we have left to practice what we’ve learned before it’s all over?
Have you questioned the limitations of decision making? and found out only the future has the answers and sometimes, once in a while the answer is opposite of the decision you made? The joke is always on us.
As we (present self) always have limited information, only our future self gets to find out what the right choice would have been, but our present self is stuck with the decision making. Look to marriage statistics for comical relief. People in their right minds, choose one person out of billion others. Only for their future self to realize, “uhm, I don’t really like this person”. Our best resolve, is to move forward. Decide with the best of our ability, hope for desired outcome, yet be ready to damage control. Not knowing the future is not an excuse to be bound by indecision or unhealthy limitations.
Have you fallen on your face? I understood the world as those who had the guts to try— and those who do not have the guts to go after their dreams. Yes, such category exists, however in the camp of those with guts are more categories. Those who try and fail, and try again are more guaranteed a win than those who simply lack the guts to endure long suffering. I wish there was a bill board somewhere reminding doers and future achievers that they can in fact fall on their face, they should even expect it. That’s fuel to pull back and launch further. Do you want it bad enough to try again?
Have you thought “go big or go home” in hopes that you do go big, only to find out you’re going home? The more you reach for success, the more micro decisions you’d have to make as you get closer to major decisions. On your journey, a little bit of luck becomes the difference between a qualified number 2 and a returning champion. Don’t be let down should you give your best but go home. Neither should you ridicule another should your best make you big. All that is required is to give your best. Once in awhile the desired results pats us on the back for a job well done. While complete success is the desire, it should not the loudest proof of your discipline and dedication.
Have you heard the “better luck next time” and wished you could go back in time? When I was younger, I definitely did not want to go back in time. I only wanted to fast forward to my future adult self. Now I’m here. And as things happen, especially when results do not match intended outcome, I wish I could go back and do things different so as to have a different, better outcome. I’ve come to learn for most people their improvement only comes from something not working out. When everything is perfect it’s almost impossible to know what to improve. Perfection is not the goal, improvement is. So, next time you find yourself wishing you could rewind time, instead soak up all the lessons you can from your experience and understand to your future self, your present is exactly where you have to be to make better decisions.
How is it that even when things align, there’s still something missing? I’m not greedy, and I’ve been opportune to enjoy a good life. It just so happens though that one could be where they’ve always wanted to be, yet they want to be somewhere else. My mom often says, a person is hungry for where they are not. I have to live with that. I have to accept that as a limitation to human’s existence. The goal is to accomplish everything positive I set my mind to — with the caveat that the journey (learning) and accomplishment is the task, my future self can enjoy it should he please to do so (which would be smart for him to do) or will for something else and use this accomplishment as a stepping stone to the next different and better.
How is it you’re only willing to try what works, after (but not before) failing? The mind is amazing. The mind can be annoying too. Growing up a common phrase around the community is “a determined fly would go into the grave with the corpse” — this depicts the lesson that no matter what anyone tries to do, short of ripping off the wings on the insect, any other action would not deter the determined fly from jumping into its demise. However after the action, the mind/eyes opens up and we wish we had acted differently. Because, now we’ve tried what we wanted and have the information that it
in fact doesn’t work. We gain a sense of power going after our own determination instead of simply taking someone else’s words for it. What do they know anyways right? while they might not know much they might be experts in this very field they’re warning us about.
How is it you have both a Prefrontal Cortex and an Amygdala, yet cannot actively choose the one to get you positive results as opposed to survival backfiring results? The book I’m currently reading about the brain has made me aware we have a PCortex and an Amyg. One could be so optimistic (PCortex) they jump off a cliff. One could also be so fearful (Amyg) they burn from an ice cube. One is the adult, the other is survival. All well and good, but there’s no remote control to choose which one takes the front stage, a change in diet or a poor choice of food, lack of rest could simply alter which one is in charge. A person goes from making productive decisions (PCortex) to wasting resources putting out a fire that’s not there (Amyg). What in the world?
How is it the chimp in the brain doesnt quiet down until it gets its way? This is amazing. I found out a book that discusses the chimp inside our heads and I’d order it on my next stack purchase.
For someone actively choosing to live right. To live Spirit over flesh. The difference between living as wanted to doing what you don’t want to do — is simply the number of times you can say No. Desire does not vanish because you’ve chosen to live right. If anything desire gets stronger when denied. And saying No continuously, more or less every few seconds for hours and days is Exhausting! With a capital E! However, what you don’t feed dies off (eventually), after a good and prolonged fight. And what you pay attention to, grows. Should you be ever so determined to be the best version of yourself, you’d have to hold on tight, continue to pray for strength and continue to say no, every single time, every hour of every day. As time passes you get stronger, the chimp gets weaker. To be your best self, is such a rewarding tough task most people would not dream of venturing.
How is it the older you get the lesser you know? Knowledge is acknowledging the limitations of knowledge. As you get older, your world expands and while you might have enough knowledge to fill a 2 inch bowl, you realize there’s a gigantic tank to compare it to.
Where do you go when there seems to be a sacrifice on either path? Sacrifice is a part of life. You do not want a life with no sacrifice. You do not want a relationship with no sacrifice. You could argue the test of whether you want something, someone or not is whether you are willing to sacrifice for it, and how much? Sacrifice is not a deferrant. Sacrifice is the tag for each path. Consider the price your future self would be paying (remember the selfishness of our present self at the expense of our future self) and decide to the best of your ability. Something has to give, but give only that which is yours to give. Give only that which would yield much more reward for the enjoyment of you and your family.
How do you stay strong for others when you are using all your energy to stay strong for yourself? Heavy is the crown. Those who look up to you have strength inside them. Their strength is activated by you displaying and tapping into your strength. Life isn’t easy. If only it was, it might not be so worthwhile. It always soothes the soul when you compare your piling concerns to your Great God. You suddenly realize what seems big to you, is very small compared to Him who stands behind you. Life is amazing. It gives the best tests. Instead of cry and complain on how hard the tests are, ask for wisdom to pass the tests and those who ask, believing they’ve received, receive. Another test. Live your life knowing nothing would be handed to you, and that which is handed to you is not as fulfilling as that which you sacrifice for. You are strong enough. You are a champion. You are a surviver. You will do great things. Trials and tribulations are roses on the path, sometimes, stop and smell the roses. Very likely, they’d be all you remember from the journey.
With Love,
Famous Steve.
