Next time you’re on a date, rather than focus on a million questions,
one question can tell you who you’re looking at.
I was driving, top down, 80 degrees, open road.
She sped up to me, looked at me and I understood.
After a lot of consideration and debate, I concluded it took the whole of two seconds for her to woo me over. Googly eyes, big smiles. So happy.
Driving like I do, I get followers — Followers are those who drive behind you.
Ever wondered why cars are cramped in one lane and the next lane is free? that’s because the followers refuse to break the bond.
Followers change lanes when you do and follow behind you the whole drive.
They sometimes do this subconsciously, I wouldn’t know.
But something was different on Sunday.
I raced in a close range with another driver, a female driver.
I fell in love with her. You can’t help how fast you fall when your heart’s pounding. When you’re your most attentive and every part of your brain is functioning just right. In that rare moment when you encounter someone
on the same level of crazy like you, you just can’t help but think
it was meant to be. Oh shallow heart of mine.
We probably did a hundred miles an hour, close range, traffic, red light, brakes.
I like girls that drive rough. You can already tell we had a lot in common.
While reminiscing the rush the rest of the drive, I realized that your driving style can predict your dating style.
For non fast drivers, some of these might also apply to you but I listed everything I can think of when it comes to being a fast driver.
This is what speeding means to most people and how that style of driving affects who and how we date.
In a hurry.
Driving: when I speed, typically I’m in a hurry. I can wait but I don’t want to. I’d rather the car in front of me move or get out the way.
Dating: Funny enough when it comes to dating, I’m in a hurry too.
Conversations before kissing is quite awesome but I’d rather we get to the kissing part. Fireworks attract me more than a sitting duck.
Driving: The whole concept of speeding dwells in aggression. You know you have a loose screw when you step on the gas pedal at a time a normal person would step on their brakes. Google says Aggression means pursuing one’s interests forcefully. Pretty accurate with speeding.
Dating: Need I say more?
Driving: Fast drivers are takers. They rarely give others a chance to get in front of them because when they do, it just happens to almost always be really slow drivers that gets in front of you. When that happens, you have no option but to switch lanes and remind yourself to never do any favors on fast tracks.
Dating: A girl who gives is one I already like. There’s just something about knowing she’d share what she has, would care and give you also. Men are wired to give and protect and so many of us are too familiar with women who receive and retain. Guess what? Mister Macho over there also likes a birthday present. Ground breaking, I know! But not quite rocket science.
Driving: I drive slow, 15 to 20 miles below the speed limit on weekends, end of my work week. It’s one of the cheapest stress reliever you could ever get. The efforts on your part are to: put on your hazard lights, stay in the right lane and put on cruise control, then enjoy the ride. Speeding for me is the diagnostic result of my mental convenience and a lab bypass of my emotional state. In simple English, I get reminded of my stress levels when I catch myself speeding.
Dating: I have so much stuff going on that I sometimes have to shy away from contacting or scheduling dates because: One, my attention span and quality of concentration for other responsibilities end up very reduced because I get enveloped with planning a date and looking forward to all the fondling yet to happen. Two, I won’t make a great conversation right now with these big dreams and goals on my shoulder. Eh, sounds like excuses to me. I should go mingle more, get distracted sometimes and maintain companionship, rather than push them away.
Driving: If there’s one thing you can’t argue, it’s that late comers are the most optimistic people you’ll ever meet. I mean, optimism is the only reason they’re always late.
There are two places I’m almost never late to but even interviews and everywhere else the average person would consider important,
I park like a champ off of a speed movie, race in like two minutes late is a privilege for them and they should thank me for my perseverance.
I’m an optimist driver. I’ll get there on time even if I leave after the event already started. An optimistic mind, a dreamer’s world.
Dating: I’m quite optimistic with people in general. Past relationships show that I believe everyone can change for the better to improve their quality of life. Past relationships prove that not everyone will change to improve their life even if their life depended on it. No shades, just observation.
With my dating life, I listen for dreams and goals and I also listen for expectations.
It’s part of my non negotiable that every lady I meet for a second date must be of the optimistic mindset. When a potential partner says they want to go to Nursing school, you think “Great, I know I’ll support you whichever way I can”. However too many times I’ve found myself reminding people of what they said their dream was, only two weeks after they said it. How can you forget that fast? I mean if you really wanted that dream, it should be scribbled on to the walls of your mind. I’m just saying.
Everything being perfect but not optimistic, most likely would be a lady I don’t stay with for long. There’s just something about believing everything would work out. Two people who live everyday like that, are two people that cannot be stopped. We all can use more supporters and no one motivates you more than someone you’re in love with.
Driving: A good percentage of the time, I swerve lanes without looking. Before you scream how reckless that is, let me tell you why.
I can confidently swerve lanes because I’ve memorized every car I passed and their location before eventually swerving. So unless a very silent, super fast car breezes through, my swerve would go smoothly. It takes more attention and focus to drive fast than it does cruising down the lane.
Dating: It’s now a habit. You eat enough bad apples you start to upgrade who you eat. Quite a very dirty mind you have there. With dating now, I’m very attentive.
The clues are always there from the beginning, youngsters get googly eyed too fast they miss it, then they blame the universe for hooking up with a loony. Also there’s almost no greater mind melt-er than to tell a girl the clothes she had on the first day you met, two years later. Remembering what she said on the last date and following up on it the next date gives you a lot of brownie points. “Oh my gawd, you listened.”
Driving: There’s something about rules. You make one, you create the urgency, curiosity and challenge for someone to break it. Going past the speed limit is no different. Fast drivers can be very stubborn people.
Dating: There’s always that truth that in most cases a person would refuse to do something simply because someone else told them to do it. Humans like to think their actions are their ideas. There’s something about someone giving you ultimatums. There’s something uneasy about someone trying to control you. People like that would not get along quite far with me because once again, I’m a fast driver. Our whole existence is to bend the rule, not fit in a box or a lane.
Driving: I’m one of the happiest people you’ll come across — except when I drive. Road rage is true and alive, thanks to me. Two things I cannot stand.
One. Slow drivers in the fast lane — left lane. I really don’t care about people driving slow, Granny can take all the time in the world. New learners can get comfortable on the road, I’m not a maniac, not really. I understand the road is shared by different types of people. It is however the law for slower traffic to stay on the right side of the road. Funny I would require others to obey the law while I push the limit of the law. So let’s say — it makes traffic flow better when slower traffic are not in the fast lane. Just as brilliantly explained in this video.
Anyways, for the love of all that is holy, people, move your car to the middle lane or better still the right lane so others who are going a tad bit faster can do so without swerving lanes a thousand times because slow people decide to ignore the two lanes they have but instead struggle the one lane we have.
Two. Slow drivers in traffic. If there’s already traffic, why in good heavens are you driving extremely slow with so much gap between you and the car in front of you? Can you feel the road rage coming back up? OK that’s it. I rest my case.
Dating: There are two places you’ll encounter humans in their most nasty form. One is on the phone with customer service, feeling protected by the comfort of their homes and on the other is on the road, feeling protected by the size of their cars.
Fast drivers are used to encountering people who would do things they wouldn’t if they were looking at you face to face and the last area anyone would want to deal with much stress or get frequently annoyed is in their dating life.
It’s very likely that fast drivers have short tempers making it more important for anyone who dates a fast driver to pay some attention to their quick mood change. Personally I can tell you I rarely get upset but the simplest things could get me quite unhappy. And a girl who goes swimming and comes to my home, lay on my bed but smell like chlorine, is one I did not call back again.
Driving: You can always tell a fast driver. Some stay undercover then all of a sudden the urge kick in and vroom goes the exhaust.
Dating: I like to have a good time just like the next person. You can always tell that what I do and where I go would be in line with what I want and what I enjoy. It’s quite predictable that I would be there if I said I would. It’s quite predictable that I would take your hands and open the door for you, quite predictable. Of course, I remember you’re allergic to nuts, wait till you try mine. Wink, wink.
Driving: It’s a myth that fast drivers always get in an accident.
It’s also a myth that fast drivers create accidents. I would know.
The only time I got in an accident was when I drove below 15 miles an hour.
Drunk drivers who speed, then wrecks doesn’t count. He’s not a fast driver.
Accidents are actually caused by slow drivers not fast drivers.
Quite a shocker, I know. Fast drivers are usually very careful — because they know they have a lot to lose.
Also it would do the world a huge favor if slow drivers would stop slamming on their breaks. If you’re in the fast lane holding up someone else, simply move to any of the other two lanes rather than slam brakes.
Dating: After being burned a couple times, just like driving, you start to remember patterns.
You become more careful with who you give too much of your time to.
I have learned that at the end of a relationship there’s really no one to blame but yourself and the most important time to prevent a break up is in the early days. Foundation matters.
This powerful realization makes me careful and more believing that every gold doesn’t glitter and every glitter isn’t gold.
Driving: While fast drivers push the limit with their eyes peeled on the road searching for cops and what might look like cops — Boo to civilians who drive white Dodge Chargers, always making me cautious. At the same time, fast drivers remember the pattern of cars they’ve passed, while paying attention to the cars ahead, they still have enough mental room to dance and sing their favorite songs as they plot when to swerve one more time. Quite a lot going on but fast drivers rock like that!
Dating: This comes in different forms. From getting to know multiple women at one time and being honest about it. To, scheduling a date right after an event to scheduling something else right after the date. It is very possible to pay attention to a lady while remembering everything that still needs to be done.
Driving: This is why we do it. This is what we live for. Adventure.
I go back to the habit of speeding when I feel caged. Makes sense.
I’m trying to run away from something. Speeding away from cars but its more than that, it’s more mental. I’m trying to break free from other areas of my life, run as far away as possible, as quick and safe as possible.
For me, the feeling of being caged comes from having a continuous routine. I do not like routine. Bound by the same schedules, week after week, doing the same things, over and again makes me feel like a zombie. I would be the one shooting zombies if I ever played those games or make it into one of those movies.
I have to take a trip as much as I can financially afford but when I stay too long without the excitement of an adventure, the road become my therapist. Listening to all my worries, giving me free range to let loose all the built up tension, allowing me the best gift of all, the opportunity to do it all over again — till I run out of gas.
Dating: I cannot stand a cold turkey. As much as I try to have interesting things going on in my life to keep me sane, the last thing I need is to be with someone who would tell me all the bad reasons to go to the Grand Canyon.
Someone who doesn’t want to leave the house, someone who doesn’t want to do anything is still tolerable but someone who doesn’t want to get involved and also does not want you to get involved is one someone I cannot stand.
For an adventurer to remain an adventurer they have to date and be around other adventurers. I wrote that quote almost two years ago to serve as a reminder for my forgetful heart.
Low skills on money management.
Driving: It’s no secret that fast drivers are familiar with speeding tickets,
“Oh snap” moments and have also been turned down coverage from a few insurance companies. With most fast drivers having higher insurance rate and still continue to speed, it can only mean they’re insane or very poor money managers or both.
Dating: I like to enjoy myself and as much as I try to keep a cap on what I spend, I would not turn down a good time because of the cap. Same way a fast driver with a speeding ticket, doesn’t want another one but still drives above speed limit.
A girl with determined, disciplined financial wisdom is what I need. We might not get along when we have the dreaded money talk but her mindfulness will be a huge benefiting quality.
Driving: You already know. Squeezing into that little space because you’re determined to either fit in or crash, only goes to show how much adrenaline fast drivers enjoy behind the wheels.
Dating: I love a risk taker. L.O.V.E.
A match made in heavens before our fathers’ met our mothers.
Sometimes you just have to toss the die in the air and hope for the best.
There goes optimism again.
Blame it on the rush, blame it on the thirst but there’s nothing worse than a party pooper when you’re feeling lucky and fast drivers are always feeling lucky, every single day. Though every gambler would do good if they paired with someone who can reason.
Driving: Doing an average of a hundred miles back and forth each day, the challenges on the road stands out. There’s the person hell bent on not letting you pass them. There’s the so committed follower who’s so close to your car, you can see the dried milk on their chin.
With all the challenges, you tend to become more confident in yourself. Escaping narrow spaces without bruises and dents makes you more courageous to stand your ground in other areas of life. We have to admit, challenge can be stimulating especially when you’ve become good in learning from them.
Dating: Don’t get me wrong, one night stands are the best thing ever but I never forget a girl who makes me wait.
Driving: In most cases, a fast driver can tell you the brand of a car before seeing the brand on a car. Just by looking at the headlights from the rear view, I can decipher if it’s a regular cop car, an undercover cop car or a civilian.
Your memory is what you bank on and in this fast life, your memory has no choice but to stay sharp. The alternative is too expensive.
Dating: I remember things. That’s one thing I also do not like about dating. I remember the girl, the kind of car she drives, the important things she talked about, where we went and how we made love, for the most part. You can only imagine how much work it is to remember these girls and their profiles swimming through my head. Now, I sigh when I meet new women,
thinking “here we go again”.
Driving: Funny but true, fast drivers rarely commit to one lane. Even if they’re the only one on the road. How revealing is that?
Inconsistency is the fuel of this life. Free in its most glorious meaning. Ability to move when you feel like it. Unbound. Alive.
Dating: This is funny too. It’s almost never planned, there’s just that one thing about getting too serious. You know the one thing. You tell yourself you want to commit but you know it wasn’t made for people like you and me.
Next time you’re on a date, rather than focus on a million questions.
One question can tell you who you’re looking at.
Do you drive like a grandma or do you drive like there’s fire up your rear?
As much as I admire similar traits in women, it would be a very scary combination if both of us come together. Two people accumulating speeding tickets form a family that works for lawyers and insurance companies, keeping none of their income for themselves. As a gambler, I have to find a non party pooper who can reason for the both of us.