Was Better An Option?
“Life is for the living”, sounds like a statement that should be true.
A statement that’s tough to argue with. Since living (breathing) is an expression of life, those without breath, as we know, are not living.
“Being alive is not the same as living”, sounds like another brain teaser. A measuring bar to stand next to, as you consider which option better describes your current circumstance. And, whether that’s the category you should want to be in. For a person has to be alive (breathing) to be living (intentionally reaching) but they do not have to be living to be alive.
More than three times a day, I unintentionally ask myself: “am I living my best life?”. More so because I don’t want to waste time living a life that’s not mine, and it is easy to veer off course, without even knowing it. I believe there’s no reason to be mediocre at life but again what is the definition of “life”. And does “life” automatically translate to “living”?. What exactly would you regard as being mediocre at life?
It’s no secret that a good portion of society is living handsfree. This style of life entails no serious thinking for one’s self. A life where most decisions are based off crowd expectations. For questions like: “Why do you work?”, you hear answers like “Everybody I know does it”. And questions like “What do you enjoy doing?”, I often hear “I dont know really”. No judgment, to each his own.
But again classification, or more importantly definition, plays a huge role. My definition of life is a one shot attempt to be your best self, help humanity positively, and enjoy your days healthily, the best you can. And, I classify life as the ultimate assignment. And, I don’t want to fail at life.
Fail (for me) is being in my last days regretting how I have lived. A wasted life. In order to avoid that dread, I go off the mindset that regardless of the stumbles in life, whilst I have energy, I can make positive changes in self and humanity. Though I don’t think anyone intentionally wants to fail at life, I do think what we’re willing to sacrifice in other not to fail, varies. And what we consider “fail”, also varies.
I understand people with a handsfree approach to life might have a higher classification for other (important) things or have a different definition for (enjoying) life. For example, there was a study that showed some people are highly more likely to remember and attend their pet’s doctor visits and consistently give medications to their pet. But did not consistently take their own medications or attend all their doctor visits. In simpler terms, they care for their pets more than they take care of themselves. Even more shocking to realize this is the norm for many people. And the book (12 Rules of Life) tries to find out why. What’s (classified as most) important to them is their pets. Which agrees with “being alive” but not “living”.
People are different, and that’s good. I’m not campaigning for people to be more of the same, those who prefer a sedentary lifestyle should go for, and enjoy, their sedentary lifestyle. While those who do not want a sedentary lifestyle, should find a way out and find a way into the lifestyle they want to live. No matter what. That’s what I’m saying, yet as simple as that reads, it (for some reason) is tough to set in place.
Let’s consider a few differences:
Being alive is a given — you wake up, box checked. While living is a lifestyle of intent.
Being alive is the prequalification, living is the test. Many do not make it past the prequalification. Some don’t want to and that’s fine, but it’s not fine for those who want to make it out but do not thrive to.
Being alive is comfort (an addictive, silent, often ignored factor), living is an amputee running for miles. Those who are living say the unknown calls out to you, but really, you go looking. You venture out for the adventure.
Being alive is trying to survive, living is venturing into the unknown where survival is not promised, knowing that, yet venturing anyways.
Being alive is using self. Living is knowing self. (People work themselves to death, yet they don’t know what they like, no idea of all they could still accomplish).
Don’t get me wrong, often times, just being alive is tough enough. With life circumstances, some people have to do so much, just to be able to remain at the same spot (like a marathon on a threadmill).
I had a conversation a few days ago with a lady, she told me she was (married yet lived as) a single mom when she was younger, and at one point had four jobs just to stay where she was at. No new anything, that was just to maintain what already was.
And I would not be surprised that for many others who have similar experiences like this lady, they might have spent so many years just being alive that when they finally have a chance (kids moved out, higher income, less expenses, more free time) they don’t know how to switch from being alive to living. My dad’s the same way. Give him a project or a plane ticket, he’ll take the project, every time. Give me the same options, I’ll take the plane ticket, every time (and find a way to jumpstart the project on the plane).
Again, this is not judgmental, this is instead a measuring bar to stand next to. Understanding that some people do not even have the option of venturing out (living), makes me very motivated to take advantage of my opportunities but it also makes me very uncomfortable around others who have the opportunity but do not care for it.
Which brings up the question: “When you have an opportunity that you do not necessarily want, should you feel pressured to take advantage of it, because others who want the chance, do not have the opportunity?”. Tricky.
We all deserve encouragement and this is especially for people who want different but make decisions that keeps them further away from what they want. If you want to travel, maybe do not marry someone who never wants to travel.
If you want to venture into the unknown, start your own company, develop a new technical skill, learn a new language, stand up for yourself, learn from others, help people, or whatever your heart desires, maybe go for it?
Yes, you might fail (a few times) but who cares? if you don’t go for it (and you want it), you’ve automatically already failed.
Yet, should you go for it, you either learn an approach that works or you learn an approach to not try next time. But you owe yourself the opportunity to take a step towards what you want. It’s easier written than done but sometimes you just have to suck up the fear and do it!
We will not get yesterday back, in fact last year and the year before that is forever gone, while people have expectations of who you should be, and where you should be and how you should live, if that does not match your idea of living and you in fact want to live? You owe it to yourself to change crowd. Go see a different crowd that thinks like you do. If you’re content where you are, then good for you. If you are not, then you owe it to yourself to stretch, no one else would really help you achieve what you want more than you would help yourself. Sometimes you have to say no to the excuses.
For life is for the living. Those who venture out know a way of life that’s foreign to others who are only alive, merely breathing. You should not be content with just being alive. For being alive is not the same as living and with every ounce of blood in you, you should be living.
Was better an option? then get better. A waste it would be, to settle for mediocre, when outstanding is an option.
With Love,
Famous Steve.
