Poem: Would You Run, With Me?

I sit here,
hand on my jaw,
I think of you.
ways you were mesmerizing
I wonder
was it your eyes,
your smiles,
how easy it was for you to laugh
or how welcoming you were?
They say women like men who know what they want
And I contemplate where that leaves me
Because I want it all
You, Joy, Peace, Play, a good life, I want it all.

I sit here,
with nothing to do
but this
to uncover the mystery behind me liking you
was it because you were likable
or because I like everyone?
and there it is
what I fear it’s been all along
my inquisition to liking everyone
I wonder,
can it be said that I really liked you
if I will soon forget about you?
They say women like men that are honest
And I consider where that leaves me
Remind me what honesty is,
for I’ve been known to be too honest.

I sit here,
venturing down this hallow road
of self discovery
not liking what I might find
and yet of course, I venture anyway.
I wonder
Do I think you pretty, smart, exciting
because you were in fact all of those things
or was it simply because you were seated across from me?
It’s not you, my darling, it’s me.
They say women like men that are in touch with what they’re feeling
And I ponder how to measure to that
For I feel everything and soon thereafter,
I move on as though I felt nothing at all.

Here I am, seated
My back on this supportive couch
Beautiful music pleasing my ears,
I could think of anything in the world
or not think at all
But I think of you
Which leads me to think of me
And eventually to think of her
The one before you
I liked her too
And the one before her?
I thought that one breathtaking
but minutes later I called another girl breathtaking
was either of the ladies truly breathtaking?
And the one before her?
I no longer remember her
But I’m sure I liked her, really liked her.
They say women like men without wandering eyes
And I go look in the mirror to examine these eyes,
For they’ve been trained to wander whenever our journey ends.

I just sit here,
No interest to stand up,
I could walk around,
I could lay down
But instead,
I wonder
Could I then say I like you
If soon I’d meet another
and shortly thereafter forget all about you?
You see, my darling,
my intentions are indeed good
though I know not what good intentions are,
my heart is in fact loving
though sometimes I think too loving
or not loving enough
I never seem to know the difference.
They say women like men that are decisive
And I think of all my decisions,
Does being decisive mean to never change your mind? Ever?

Now, you know
I’m still seated here,
thinking of all I’ve said to you
and wishing to sing out to you
My darling, save yourself!
think not of me
do not fantasize what future could have been
Trust not what I say to you
For I know not what I feel
while others seek forever,
some of us are only familiar with moments
They say women like men who run after them
And I realize,
Wait, a second. Run, is all I do.
for while others find a reason to stay,
I find reasons to run.