Mind: Explain Yourself. What Made You Do It?

Have you wondered recently why things happen? how about why we do certain things? That’s good. Well, I haven’t. Not recently. I have, however, been on a campaign to understand how to approach one particular notion.

Let me ask you another. If you bumped into information that might be unsettling, what would you do with it? Unsettle or Un-bump?

For two years I have been dancing around a question. Yes, that’s a long time to dance but you have to be careful with questions. The right questions could bring about answers that’d make you cry. The wrong questions could bring about answers that’d leave you confused which inevitably would make you cry. Sometimes it’s better to not question, because once a question is formed, the fun stops. Everything blurs out, until that question gets answered.

If you’ve been interrogated in a relationship, you know what I mean. You can try all you want to bypass the question, to change the subject, to move around, ignore or act like you’ve fallen asleep. The other person would be there waiting for you to come back to life and revisit the question you’ve unsuccessfully dodged. Have you watched a movie where someone chokes on their drink when asked a question? Here, watch this trailer. A question is potent. A question unravels. A question sometimes should never be asked.

Alright, Mister. Where are you going with this? I’ll tell you.

I want to share something with you. For two years now, I have been studying the possibility of a certain reality. This time has been spent in what I call the validation phase, which is the “is this a question to ask” phase. Once I can get past the validation phase, then I can progress to the “how do we answer this question” phase. Before attempting to find answers to the question, I have to first know if it’s a principle to be questioned.

At one point I shared the insight with friends over lunch and them being startled and incapable to provide commentary was influential in deciding to keep the question to myself, while I contemplate silently. You don’t want to go around shaking up people’s world, especially if you don’t have answers to put their world back together, at least that’s not what “good friends” do.

It’s better to share knowledge (answer to question) than share confusion (question the answer). But here we are today, I don’t know if you’re lucky or unlucky to be reading this. I will share the question with you, try not to read too much into it, because after reading this you do have to go back to your world and function. Hopefully, this doesn’t lead you to question other things in your life, and if it does, well maybe progress has been made. Let’s get on. I’m going to share with you.

Here it is:
What is the disadvantage of Hope. If any.

This is a question that promises to shake up my foundation as a human. It promises pain and confusion but I find myself mindlessly strolling along the path to first find out, is this a valid question, can such a question be asked? if I miraculously get passed that and hopefully realize it is in fact a valid question, then hopefully, I’d be alive and in good mental shape to venture beyond, into answering the question.

I was raised Christian. I am Christian. Christianity is based on love for God, self and another. Hope to see better. And, Faith to bridge the gap.

You see how it can be an issue to my psyche to question the principles I’ve been designed by. Especially when no one can promise the safety of what I might find, should I go looking.

Why go looking, you might ask, well maybe because of the hope of what I might find. See what I did there?

Why do we do anything at all? Curiosity? Misbehavior? Rebellion? Acknowledgment? I have no immediate idea. Hope?

Let’s dance a little. Are you ready? This is what I’ve come up with over the two years of question validation.

If you know the end result of a situation and it doesn’t look good for you and you don’t have to engage, would you engage? Don’t laugh, I’m serious.

What’s an example?

You’re hiking a mountain, all of a sudden a wild animal, say a Cougar (here’s the video) comes out of nowhere and wants you for lunch. You know if you go head on with just your bare hands, and if there are more cougars around, you might in fact become lunch, would you save yourself or would you attack? or would you think attacking is saving yourself?

Maybe that’s a little extreme of an example, but at least it made you contemplate one thing. What concept has to be fed to the human mind for it to undertake a lost cause? and that’s progress.

Let’s try on another example where you don’t die, I think that’d be better.

Say, you were winked at and slowly but discreetly caressed by the younger sister of your soon to be wife. This is exciting. What would you do? On one hand you know if you engage, wedding or marriage would end. On the other hand, you know you do not have to engage. But you engage anyways. What would make a person engage something they don’t have to especially when they know they’d suffer from it? It is possible, maybe unknown to you, you might in fact want wedding or marriage to end. Self sabotage is indeed a thing.

So far we have sex, death, let’s make it a trinity. Say, you were offered a bribe, what would make you take it? A random person would say greed. That’s a layman’s answer. That’s the observers opinion not the instigator’s. Greed is the interpretation of an action. Something is behind greed. Something is fed to the psyche for the mind to approve the action, the action is then interpreted as greed. What is that something?

Keep in mind humans had to come up with words in order to build a society. Words are not absolute. I know, it’s crazy once you realize that. Words are man made. Our relation with words tend to be erroneous. While words are to be used to describe feelings, feelings are not to be bent to fit words. The mind is fed certain emotions and chemical cocktails to make certain decisions, focus on that. The same concoction that makes one act a hero, I am thinking, is the same concoction that makes one act a dummy.

Have you ever gambled? Call me The Gambler. The same ideology that makes a person bet a hand and win — is in most cases the same ideology that makes a person bet a hand and lose. If they win, they’re champions, praised and might have their own TV show. Yet, if they lose, they are, well, losers. Moving on.

If you know the end result of a situation and it doesn’t look good for you and you don’t have to engage, would you engage?

Yesterday, I was reminded I would. In fact three days ago, I yet again made another decision that signals I would in fact engage, even though I know the end result, and the result will be painful for me. That is a pattern. I have a pattern of engaging regardless of a very likely outcome. The Gambler focuses on the 1% chance not the 98.9% odds stacked against him. I did not do the smart, right thing. I did the comfortable, impulsive, exciting, daring thing. Why leave safety?

There is a fcuk you element also. I’m thinking. Let’s walk together. Right in this moment, you know, questioning myself, “why would you do something that doesn’t make sense?”, I am realizing there is a forget you element, which would be rebellion, this is the “I choose my own path” logic.

Yes, you can read the statistics (of why this might fail) all day long, tell me what I should or should not do, at the moment of decision, this is what I choose to do and should I reach that awful end you’ve predicted well I don’t know. Hopefully I don’t but should I, well I’m sorry to put you in that predicament, figure it out. But, what if it works out? Huh? Then what? You’d be glad I “went against the grain”, stood firm? stuck it out? you’d be glad that I was brave? that I beat the odds? what positive spin would you put on my recklessness?

Well, I can’t answer that. It’s amusing though to see how we’ve come to determine what is positive or negative based on the result of the action, as opposed to the reason for the action. That’s deep, I don’t think I’m smart enough to take this on, we’d have to get into this another day.

As for why we do what we do even though pain awaits, I sense selfishness. Disregard for foresight. Present entertainment at the expense of future comfort.

Did you say Hope? You might be right.

I’m listening to a song with the lyrics: “You could have it all” and I think to myself. . .I do (almost) have it all. Braggadocios, believe me, I know. But we’re getting somewhere.

Every chance I get, I make it known I have a great life, somewhat because I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I do want to know while I was here, I recognized where I was. I don’t want to appreciate after the appreciated has been lost. I don’t have to lose what I have to know the value of what I have.

When you have the options to all the good things you’d want, why risk it? What else are you looking for?

Last month, I was on the road, while traveling I studied those who had it all and blew it. Not necessarily lose all their money but instead, they continued their bad habit until their chosen habit destroyed them. Why risk it?


Why would you surrender? When is surrendering an option? To surrender sometimes is the smartest option yet fools are the least likely to surrender. Fools die first, fools get destroyed. We display characteristics of fools more than you can imagine. More than I’d willingly admit.

No retreat, no surrender. That would get you killed. Live to fight another day. That would get you a second look. And a new perspective wins wars. A new perspective could change your life or only postpone the inevitable.

We’ve gone over a new concept which beget more concepts. You have a lot to think about. You have to revisit your relationship with words and identify gaps between what you feel and what a word suggests you’re feeling. You might feel excited but someone else says you are angry. Do you then switch to anger or do you see the limitation of their understanding and their attempt to describe that which they know nothing about, or are you unable to differentiate what you think you feel, excitement, from what you actually feel and display? There’s a lot there, but ultimately remember, words are man made. Emotions are not.

We also learned together that there is a different relationship with an action before the result and our relationship after the result. Humans are incredibly influenced by result.

Have you tried something and failed? I’m sorry you failed. Have you tried something and succeeded? I’m sorry you succeeded. Why did you try? And if you didn’t, why did you not try?

Could the absence of Hope, be Fear? Could Hope + Positive Results = Bravery, Heroism, Brilliant, and other ass kissing adjectives? While Hope + Negative = Idiot.

I will bow out, so you can continue your day. Let’s conclude with an agreed understanding.

If you knew the outcome and the outcome is disastrous, how do you stop yourself from engaging? Bravery can be a disadvantage. Especially, foolish bravery.

A sword is a magnificent enhancer to protect and overcome. A sword would also cut you. Don’t forget that.

With a physical item you can more sensibly approach it correctly. But with the knowledge we’ve been fed we only see it one way (a magnificent enhancer to protect and overcome) but we do not realize all the cuts we’re suffering from due to the same knowledge. And Knowledge is a Sword.

While I do not know whether this is a question worth asking, it does seem like a delicious poison. The more your senses try to pull away, the more you thirst for it.

What is the disadvantage of Hope. If any.

Nothing works without Hope. It seems Many breakdown because of Hope.

You be the validator. Is it a question to be asked?

With Love,

Famous Steve.



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