A guy says to his girlfriend: “I don’t know if we’re meant to be together, I do not know who I’m supposed to be with, we should break up.”
His Native american girlfriend responds: “Fate brought us together. Out of everybody else, fate brought us together, doesn’t that mean we’re meant to be together?”
You know. . that’s a great question:
What role (if any) does fate play in bringing people together?
While I logically think the guy might be right in his ambiguity, my “soul” feels as though the girl’s logic is the right way— it’s just tough as nails to prove it.
Let’s go with two forms of description:
One could say:
Fate has no positive nor negative bearing with us meeting people. We meet people, we leave people, it has nothing to do with fate. It can be thought of as “fate” after the action.
Another might say:
Fate has a role in who we associate with. We are meant to cross paths with who we cross paths with. It was “fate” before the action.
When you call a friend only to find out they are minutes away from walking into an interview, so you give them some pointers, wish them well and boost their morale. You speaking with your friend at a moment they could really use the support, calling at the right time, was that a coincidence or was that fate?
In fact, what is the difference, if any, between coincidence and fate?
What is fate? From my limited knowledge, before consulting theoretical definitions, I think of fate as the force we cannot see, one that links us to destiny. Weaves us out of circumstances, places us in circumstances yet separate from our ability to act otherwise and separate from our periodic inability to do what is right. I think fate to be the beginning of something good though we random know it’s the start to something good. Fate is identifiable in retrospect. Fate is associated with good tidings. Bad tidings’ just simply referred to as “bad luck”. Would one then say Fate is good luck? I will say Fate is what we term occurrences we cannot logically explain.
Now, let’s consult the dictionary. Fate is “the universal principle or ultimate agency by which the order of things is presumably prescribed; the decreed cause of events; time.” The development of events beyond a person’s control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power. Be destined to happen, turn out, or act in a particular way.
Personally, I associate fate to everything good news, I am currently reading a book that challenges me to think the lack of what I want could also be fate.
Surprisingly, when I searched for the dictionary definition, most of the definitions were bad news related. By dictionaries, terrible, unexpected, unescapable is fate. Quite negative, won’t you say?
While I somehow think the girl’s analogy is right, my concern is that if I come to agree that fate brings people together and that people should be with whomever fate connects them to — it sounds good when it works out but I have a tough time coming to terms with the opposite of it. Which would be for people who get seriously damaged or affected by others, that would mean fate did bring them together and they were supposed to be together? I don’t know. That’s heavy.
However, my definition of fate recognizes the potential for freewill. To act opposite of the “plan of fate” like the saying goes, we all have the opportunity and ability to “sheet the bed.” Fate might bring about opportunities, we still have to properly engage the opportunity. Is fate the inevitable? Is fate the opportunity? is fate both? Is luck fate? if luck is fate then good luck and bad luck would be fate. Is fate all things inevitable? if it is, does it then matter what our actions are?
There’s the romanticized public opinion of fate which is “it was meant to be”. Often, you’d hear people say time to time, especially those in love, “it was fate that we met”. Well, while it might be fate to meet, it takes effort and everything else to keep the interaction, love, business relations going.
Wait, can fate be escaped? isn’t fate automatically thought of as absolute? Fate is a lot of things, we’ve also come to attach a lot of things to fate. In simple terms, fate is the unplanned perfection. Fate is the unplanned. The unexpected. Good (yes) or bad (this I have to accept). Something meant for you that you did not know. Fate could be said to be what life chooses for you when you do not know to choose it.
In essence, fate does not trump common sense. Well, is that a cop out in defense of fate? Maybe, however, we should note that there are two types of fate — the inescapable and the opportunity. Both would have the same attribute — which is they would be unplanned and unexpected.
Think Jonah, swallowed and returned to where he should have headed. That is both unplanned and inescapable. The inescapable does not regard nor respect common sense. Think of Theodore Roosevelt. The death of Sir William gave Sir Teddy the fateful opportunity. You could run with it, or you could “sheet the bed”. The opportunity does not trump common sense. One does not regard common sense (inescapable fate), the other requires common sense.
King George V tried to teach his sons the inescapability of fate, which is paraphrasing “it does not matter so much what you want, you have to do what is right for the crown. — to accept the burden to rule and to rule well.” One could say Bertie’s, even JFK’s ascersion was inescapable fate.
Back to the initial question:
What role (if any) does fate play in bringing people together?
Everyone we meet that could be someone to us is fate. Especially if it is unplanned and unexpected. You happen to be here, same time they happen to be here — yeah looks like a coincidence, which it could be or it could actually be fate. Wait, what is the difference between coincidence and fate? Here it is:
Coincidence doesn’t have to be important. Fate is an important life shifting or life swift-ing experience.
It’s raining outside and I just happen to have an umbrella in the car, that’s a coincidence (though I still won’t use the umbrella). My phone battery is about to turn off and you just happen to have a charger that works with my phone, that’s a coincidence. I order a smoothie and the barista calls my drink, she goes to grab my drink (apparently she ordered exactly the same drink), and we strike up a great conversation that later leads to much more — that’s not a coincidence, that is fate. Let’s move on.
Our journey started with the lovebirds. He does not know who he’s supposed to be with, takes that as a sign that he’s not with the right person and wants to move on. Because if he was with the right person he’d know right?
On the other hand, she believes the simple fact that they are together, in a relationship, that is fate. Their affections for one another is inescapable because even if they do break up, for the rest of their lives, they would still remember and maybe feel something for one another. She thinks they have the opportunity to make it work. And finally, I agree.
She said this: “Fate brought us together. Out of everybody else, fate brought us together, doesn’t that mean we’re meant to be together?”
And I say, yes. It does mean they’re meant to be together. But it’s a fateful opportunity. It does not override common sense. It does not become fruitful without the application of common sense. While they have the opportunity to be together forever, that two people are meant to be together does not mean that they will in fact be together — because people do smart things that are stupid. What we think is smart or best for us, is not the case — in fact it’s mostly not the case. Our predictability score for our personal life is very not accurate. Remember my definition of fate: Fate is separate from our ability to act otherwise and (is) separate from our periodic inability to do what is right.
How does this apply to me or you? What does this mean for you? Well for one, I can go through everything in my life and look at it different. I am alive right now, that an inescapable fate. When I meet somebody nasty, it’s a fateful opportunity — to engage or disengage. This is where my common sense is supposed to kick in and separate me from hazard. That I am where I am is fate. Yes, I can leave because fateful opportunity does not have to be engaged.
A strong desire to fulfill my potential and live my best life is my inescapable fate because even if I try to act stupid or go out of character, by nature, I would kick myself for misbehaving.
Your higher calling is an inescapable fate. Don’t fight it. If you’re in love with a person and they’re in love with you and you both keep running into each other, that might be an inescapable fate but if you’re in love with them and they just like you, that’s only an opportunity. And a fateful opportunity you do not have to engage. A fateful opportunity does not have to work out. Your life can be ruined if you do not accept your inescapable fate. See King Edwards VIII.
Why are you where you are? Is it in defiance of fate or in acceptance of fate?
Why do you want to leave? Is it in defiance or in acceptance?
Why are you trying so hard? Is it to make an opportunity into an inescapable?
Do you believe there are additional forces in play beyond your mere efforts?
Do you think you got to where you are simply by yourself?
Do you think you can reach your greatest potential all by yourself?
Do you think you have nothing to do with reaching your potential?
Do you think you do not have to reach your potential?
There’s a calling on your life. You believe it or not. You accept it or not. You know it or not. There’s a purpose for your life. Wherever you are in life, you have an assignment to accomplish.
One could say each day to live confirms an assignment to accomplish. God does not give life just for the sake of giving life. God does not do anything really, simply for the occurrence of it.
Everything is for a purpose. Everything connects to something.
Even the invisible air that one would think is a “useless” creation, they would have been very wrong because almost everything else God created cannot exist without that “invisible air”.
Even Antartica, I used to think was just there to be there, apparently this overlooked continent helps me feel cool breeze and not burn up where I live. Everything is connected to something.
Everyone is connected to a purpose. You are connected to a purpose. Some of it is inescapable, others is an opportunity to greatness.
Whatever you do with, do well with it.