Life Stages of Success: “The WhatNow Stage.”

I’m at a place in life that cannot be described as crossroads.
Crossroads, to me, means reaching a juncture in your journey, where the road splits into multiple directions, mostly two directions. You either go left or you go right.

That’s not where I am.

I have reached a level in my journey where it seems my map’s ran out, but the path continues. I don’t know what that’s called, but it’s not a crossroad.

Now What:
You see, most of where I am in life today, was foreseen. When I had less, I wanted more. At a young age, I wished to be here. I wanted to do more to reach a place where I’d have many of the things I liked. So it was easier to maintain focus, “this is the task, accomplish it”.

The analogy I gave someone yesterday was, “when a person is hungry — they want food”. So they come up with different schemes on what to do that would bring them closer to being fed.

And, that’s where I used to be — I came up with different ideas on how to
get food, but at such a young age, I did not know to think of what I would
do after I’ve been fed. That’s where I am today. Fed, and wondering now what?

One of the components that helped me reach where I am today, is using my written down ideas as a guide and filter for what to accomplish and what to pay attention to.

For example, three years ago I wrote — “I want to sleep well, eat well and gym well”. This was to assist me reach a balanced life. My mind could then tailor my choices to get me closer to accomplishing what I desire. I could reference what I wanted to do better (like the above example), and work towards it. But, I got so busy with life, I stopped writing. And, now I am where I’ve always wanted to be, but I feel like something is missing.

I look in front of me, the path continues, but the manuscript I had, only brought me this far — now I don’t know what to do.

Logically, writing this, the answer seems rather simple “well, you continue down the path, duh!”, unfortunately that doesn’t literally translate into a mental model. You don’t just continue, if you dont know where you want to go. You don’t just keep moving when you don’t know which direction.

Two years ago, I learned movement does not equal progression.
Many people would do anything to keep moving, so many people burn out going in circles. I don’t want to go fast in the wrong direction, just so I feel like “I’m moving”. I want to progress.

I want to know which mountain to climb, endure the tribulations that comes from climbing that mountain, and summit the mountain, then move on — to the next mountain. It is easier to go astray when you don’t know where you should be going. Or, maybe now I just want too much certainty before pursuing, whereas way back when, I only wanted a nodge to begin running, the certainty came later.

It’s not that I stopped wanting — but instead it seems the desire for cheese dangling in front of me is not so fueling as it used to be.

I remember reading a Psychology book about rats and cheese. The book was for employers, to assist them determine how to pay their employees and how to structure bonuses.

The visual lesson from the book is the image of a rat. Initially, when the rat was hungry, it would run on the wheel, go as fast as it could, stretching to snap the cheese dangling in front of it. Should the cheese be impossible to reach, the rat would give up and almost never try again, ever— this would be the “broken spirit syndrome”. However, should the cheese become easier to reach, the rat would eventually stop running.

For humans, often times, there are multiple cheeses in front of you.

There is a cheese in front of me, but I don’t feel like running. Even if I did, I don’t know whether I should be running towards that cheese, or a different direction.

Coupled with the “now what” dilemma, is the complacency difficulty.

Complacency:
This stage on your success journey could be likened to: Having been thirsty for so long, when you finally reach a stream, you want to make it your home rather than drink a little then continue on your journey. It is a sad reality that a lot of gifted individuals settle, never venturing past the first sign of acceptance. Infact, many careers fall apart as soon as their first big check comes in.

To the outsiders (people who are yet to experience this stage in their journey), it would seem, the big check would be motivation to strive even harder — “if what you want is the big checks, then work harder and gather as many big checks as you can”. Very logical. But humans are rather more irrational.

What is not seen is that, with a big check comes more access. Access to the good and access to the bad. Since the human mind is more naturally drawn to push the envelop, many discover comfort, fear, gluttony, drugs and other crippling habits and down goes their performance and away goes that big check. Makes me wonder how start-up CEOs keep the fire. Is this why one hit wonders are never heard from again? How many lives have been limited by a little taste of success?

Great success comes down to the strength of the mind. It takes great strength to dare to be great. It takes even greater strength to continue the path of greatness. You have to push past the limitations of the common man.

I remember hearing VCs would only give founders a bit of cash at the early stages to keep their bills paid but not enough for them to feel “rich”, or feel like “they have arrived” so the founder is still motivated to finish that new app. I imagine financially disciplined athletes going pro would limit their access to their signing bonus so they only receive a little monthly pay out, still living humble, as opposed to being able to spend the whole amount whenever they pleased. All of which validates this mental “inbetween space” that separates those who go on to do great things from those who had potential.

Most of us don’t have managers or financial advisors or people in our close proximity that relates with the advancement in our journey. Often times, it comes down to you, to educate yourself and (hopefully) surround yourself with mentors to keep you in line.

The “map running out” and “after being fed” state of mind have become significant moments in my journey. I started this journey, hungry and eager.

Now, I’ve reached the valley of feast and slumber, and this is where potential dies. This is where discipline separates the lucky and the determined. Where the euphoria of “feeling good” takes away every excuse you’ve ever had to want to be great. Champions make it to this stage but only warriors make it out. For many, this is as far as they would go — but I refuse to be like many.

My potential would have been wasted should I become enticed by the limited provisions that now surrounds me.

The overall goal in life is to be my best self. Always striving to be my best self. The guiding principle of my life is this: “If we only have one life, it should be the best life ever”.

While my younger visionary self, years ago, only saw this far — the today’s version of me would hold on to my principles and create a new book to guide me through the stormy waters of decisions. I cannot possibly tell what comes next. I don’t have personal relations with people who could share psychological battles with success. But what I do know is I would hold myself accountable to improve. I will have to maintain the self control to say no to go a good time, so I could reach my potential. Today’s sacrifice for tomorrow’s satisfaction — I have to continue to live by that. I owe it to the younger me, who saw all of this.

I choose to want more. I choose to run — not for the cheese but because better is possible. Give me different. Give me better. Give me all that is mine.

On your way to your ultimate success, you will be your trainer, your coach, your cheerleader, your childhood self, your older self, your parent, your supporter, your hinderance, your stumbling block. On your journey to your ultimate success, you will take on many forms. But do not be deceived by the hallucinations of the forest. Know who you are, know who you choose to be, do not let the doubt and limitations get louder than your battle cry. Only warriors survive. Transform into one. The forest only helps you, after you’ve proven yourself.

Reaching success is not a joke. This is not for fun. To be your best self, you have to soar above common weaknesses that cripples the average person. To be better, you have to be mentally stronger and habitually disciplined.

Do you want to do great things?

With Love,

Famous Steve.