Life: Shine Your Light.
Sometimes, you get what you want. Awesome, exciting. Then the fear kicks in.
They say winners win, losers lose. But they say nothing of the inbetween wins and inbetween loss. They say win. Go out there and conquer. You have one objective and that is to win. They say a lot of things. They give you responsibilities without tools then look down on you for being lost without guidance.
A person who wins is a winner yet winners do not always win. A person who loses is a loser, however losers can remain losers. What’s the difference?
Winning is like climbing a ladder. Losing is like falling into quicksand.
While some keep falling, sinking. The other while climbing can still trip up.
Let’s go back to the beginning.
Sometimes, you get what you want. Then the fear kicks in. If you receive that which you’ve always wanted, why would fear kick in instead of unending excitement? How can someone who has been thirsty for so long, run away from water? Sounds insane doesn’t it? That’s only because you have not been thirsty for so long!
I recently realized when your eyes itch, it’s one of the most maddening experiences. One would rather a broken finger than an itching eye. To the person whose eyeballs itch, while it itches, plucking out the eyeball seems like a rational idea. To someone who does not have itchy eyes, that would be an insane idea.
Your perspective is based on your comfort. The addition or subtraction of your bias then centers your perspective.
Let’s go back to the beginning.
Sometimes, you get what you want. Then the fear kicks in. Why fear? It’s simple. Fear kicks in because you now have something to lose. When you’re waiting for that which you want, you do not yet have and therefore cannot really lose it, so you have hope and not fear of loss. Once you get it, since many are outrageously unprepared — and that’s understandable, they have no idea of the sensation and baggage that comes with answered prayers, therefore when their prayers does get answered they scramble to maintain a mental balance.
It does not hurt (much, if at all) when you lose what you don’t want. Those who get fired from a job they cant stand rarely shed a tear. But for those who receive what they’ve always wanted, fear kicks in because they realize it’d kill them if they lose what they’ve waited a long time for.
Sometimes you wish you don’t get what you want because then you don’t fear so much the pain that comes with loss. Many people make their selections based on the fear of loss. They choose the option they can manage (if they lost it) as opposed to what could cause them irrecoverable pain, if they were to lose said thing or said someone. You can wait for something for so long you begin to think, believe, the reason you have not received it is because you do not “qualify” for it. How untrue.
When you go through so many losses, one begin to expect it even when a loss is not in cards. I call it cycle training. Let’s flip it. When a person goes through back to back wins, they begin to expect it, it’s called Recency bias which then leads to over confidence which results in “. . pride goes before fall(ing off the ladder)”.
The mind is helpless when it comes to making predictions and anticipating “what comes next?”. The mind is invested in “looking down the road”, only many times, it’s looks down the wrong road.
Sometimes we give away what we have in order to move-on quicker, since we might end up losing it anyway. Why postpone the inevitable? We forget while our last endeavor might not have worked out, in our new endeavor, however, a loss was never promised, losing was never guaranteed. To be starved of water doesnt mean you dont deserve water. You deserve good. Everything works together for your good. If there’s rain, then there’d be sun. Dont get used to only rain that you reject the sun. Also, don’t reject the sun because there might be rain. If it’s possible to doubt then it’s possible to have faith, if it’s possible to lose what you have, then it’s possible to hold on to what you have.
The Book of Job says: “Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?”. I say shall we accept trouble and not good? shall we accept lack and not abundance?, shall we accept loss and not victory? Yes, there’s be days, many days, years without. if anything, that incredibly qualifies you for days with your desired. You deserve good.
If you’re only familiar with (suffering in) the desert, don’t run away from the stream. Unfamiliar it might be, yes. But venture into it anyways with an open mind. Don’t be used to being used. Don’t be used to being stuck in quicksand. Don’t be comfortable in discomfort. Don’t believe your life doesn’t qualify for something good. Good things do not come easy and do not come frequent, doesn’t mean they don’t come at all instead it means you should hold on tight when they do come. That something of quality is rare does not mean you should despise, reject or run from it. Be grateful its your turn to enjoy what you’ve always wanted. Pray for those who are in your previous shoes that they hang in there until good fortune finds them.
Your psyche determines your experience. I’m reminded of the wisdom of GK Chesterton: “The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.”
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t love at all (because you might lose), in fact that is a call for you to love — to love with all your might, heart and brain. We do not love (intensely) what we can’t lose. Loss inflates the passion of love. And loss is life because everything around you, everything within you, everything above you, everything beneath you can be lost. So get to loving. Don’t sell yourself short, don’t give yourself defeat, don’t take yourself out of the game. Don’t imagine how it all ends, live and enjoy in what is. Be happy that it is. Love, despite fear. Love, inspite of loss. You’re deserving of all good things. Accept and love it.
If anyone can win, you can win.