Life: Shedding Your Skin.
Sometimes the only way towards the right direction is to first drive in the wrong direction then make a U Turn. Do not miss your U Turn. Do not confuse the wrong direction to be the right direction. Do not get stuck in the wrong direction. Make your U Turn. Go in but make sure you come back out.
Growing up, we were taught and told to stay away from snakes. It was one of those lessons you could not run away from. It followed you. Parents reminded you to be careful of funny looking ropes. Rap songs would tell you about Snakes in the grass, in reference to backstabbing friends. When you got to church on Sunday, the youth pastor continued last week’s sermon about Apples and Serpents.
We were so busy pointing out the dangers of it, there was no chance there could be any “positive” from it.
Personally, I do not care for snakes, mostly because I do not know enough about snakes and have not spent time around them. I have met individuals though, who would take them up as pets and I still feel weirded out sitting on a couch, knowing my friend has a snake for a pet.
Yet, here I am — today, at a point in my life where I have to look to the one animal that promised “the knowledge of good and evil” to learn the undertaking of comfort or new.
Today is my last day living as who I’ve been the past two years. The comfort I’ve built up, the routine I’ve come up with, the style of life, flexibility, peace and journey — my way of life for the last two years, comes to an end, 11:59p tonight.
This is because tomorrow, first of a new month, start of a new week, I become an employee with a badge number and a cubicle. This prompts a new flow of life, a new identity, forming a new routine, having to think of stress defibrillators and expensive happiness boosters — boosters I haven’t had to engage in two years.
People apply for the jobs they end up complaining about.
I know, I’m not crying for pity and support, I know having the opportunity to go back to full time isn’t all bad. I know I have an opportunity others did not get. Most jobs do not come knocking on our doors, we go seeking them. Just like I went seeking for this one, I’m not really complaining — what I am pouring out is the acknowledgement that life is about to be different. I’d have to deal with the expectations of others, I lose the option of only being around the kinds of people (mindset) I hand select — I have to play nice with whichever personality type I get exposed to, it’s only right to be a good “team member”. While I do not like annoying people and would rather not be around them, the option gets taken away tomorrow, whoever is on your team is who you get. Something will be lost tomorrow, in other to gain something. And, I’m attempting to say goodbye to this present me that I have come to cultivate over the last two years, the present me I have come to love and enjoy. I have to say goodbye in order to walk into a new me.
Hence my interest in Snakes. Three to four times a year, a snake will shed its skin, some shedding almost twelve times a year. That is constant discomfort to attain something new. Do you then reject new because you do not want discomfort? You know, for those who are not in the midst of making such decisions, it seems like common sense, “Oh yeah, take something new, it’d be better.” — Easier said than done, especially when your current situation is not entirely terrible.
If you had the opportunity to take on a new life every month, would you take it? The change from Caterpillar into Butterfly might seem “pretty” on TV but it also looks painful. Imagine the world without Butterflies because Caterpillars are too comfortable to go through the discomfort of new. What beauty would have been lost to the world.
I honestly do not know who I would become starting tomorrow, I hope to continue some of my daily routines, while also understanding that a lot of my good habits would be walked away from because I’ll no longer be the same person I am now, when I’m sleep deprived.
And, if I learned anything from full time engagements, it’s the severe lack of sleep one would have to go through, if they’re to have a resemblance of a social life. It is a sacrifice, a sacrifice I’m trying to be alright with.
I choose to take it easy on myself, continue my quest to be the best person I can be, while wishing I do not wake up seven years from now only to find myself stuck and rooted in a day job with no visible way to escape. A steady pay check is the most addictive element known to man. I’d rather be liberated.
Whatever change you’re going through, stand strong, keep the faith. Keep passing, you will come out on the other side stronger, better (hopefully), at the very least, you’ll come out wiser.
Change is discomfort, discomfort leads to different and better. The reason most people do not attain greatness is because they refused to give up the little victory they’ve enjoyed. A champion boxer who refuses to take on a new fight is a fear dominated, soon to be broke boxer. You won a championship fight? Awesome, now let’s see if you’ll lose your way, stop going to the gym, start “enjoying” your win or if you’ll stay hungry and defend your title.
No one said being great would be easy, whatever tomorrow brings, I take it on with full force. I did not come here to be a slave, I don’t care to own slaves. I came to achieve the best future possible for me and those who came with me.
I thank God for the opportunity. I thank God for the position (in life) I find myself in. I thank God for the responsibility. I thank God that I am (trying to be) able to put aside enjoyment, to go suffer anew. I thank God for everybody I would help. I thank God for those whom my journey would bring blessings to. I thank God for giving me enough sense to say Thank God.
With Love,
Famous Steve.
