Life: Rejoice in Honesty & Humility.

I’ve been plagued by a question: “What Else Can You Become?” It’s not enough to write it, it’s not enough to be lucid enough to understand what’s to be written, I then have to live by what’s been written. Shape my life accordingly, trim the excesses and endure, embrace the scarcity and reduction.

What Else Can I Become? Well, I don’t know. I won’t make excuses. I would not insult my intelligence by sticking to my initial cop out answer of : I will become what I am to become, what God has in store for me, what my future has been designed to be. Sounds good, intellectually intelligent but it’s a spin, void of aspiration, ownership, void of emotion, void of involvement, intrigue, interest, riddles of surrender and focuslessness.

I promise not to be too hard on myself but deep down I have to reach, roots I have to interact with. Fluffs and artificial covers, I have to penetrate through to reach that soul that can long for something, to reach that place that has retreated as a measure of safety from rejection, safety from failure. A soul that just glides along, enjoying the safety of what is — because in the safety of what is, there is no chaos. Don’t rock the boat in a sense. The deterrent of rocking the boat is essential but the nerve to rock the boat should never be dismissed.

While the action might not be necessary, the courage to undertake the action should be nurtured. That you shouldn’t, at this time, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t know how.

I live in a bubble. Imagine a bubble, and that is where I live. My life has been orchestrated by my younger self to protect me (my older, present self). I was very smart when I was younger, much brave, so much bravery. King, I call myself. Tasked with the ability to see, foresee, foreplan and execute accordingly. I promise not to praise myself, not excessively anyway but a picture I will paint, for at this moment, me sincerely I am to write and clear understanding you are to have.

I live in a bubble. Imagine a bubble, and there I live. In all of the world, maybe a total of 5 people could get a hold of me. And this is by design. I remember being influenced in my younger days by a saying someone, I don’t remember who, shared with me. “When it comes to people close to you, better four quarters than a hundred pennies.” While my reality promises peace, it is also heavily colored by the realization that one might go a long time before anyone discovers if something unfortunate happened to you.

A lot of time, I am present. Completely present. I am where I am, completely engaged, undistracted by where I am not. The gift is that when you and I are together, you will feel my complete attention. My mind would be focused on your interaction, undistracted. The reverse of that is when my present shifts, my focus becomes on my immediate present and attention dwells on that which is in front of me, periodically contemplating that which is to be in front of me.

To progress, at such a young age I magically understood a lack of distraction would be necessary. So while I have come across a bunch of people in my life and stem from a large number of (family) people I’m related to by blood, the truth of the matter is as I’ve progressed, only a hand full of people have continued the journey with me, in a close relation sense of the meaning. The others, well till we meet again, good wishes I bid them.

I’m passing across the face of this earth, unknowing my end. And as these tears formulate in my eyes, I’m forced to acknowledge a good life I have lived, love I have known. My best I have tried to give. All I can I have attempted. Many mistakes are mine. The best life I have made sure to live and the Love of God I have enjoyed all my days even when I have been unknowing or unsure.

We are to live each day attempting our best, forging on. Soon our days would be over. Sounds like a sensible thing to say, but it is in fact a definite. There comes a day when I would no longer write. Unable to read and words read to me would not be heard. A day when this mind would not formulate a word, my bones no longer opportune to carry my body. And all that is grown would either wither or be somewhat passed across to those who come after me.

My thoughts are incredibly colored this morning from my study of Ms Gloria Vanderbilt. Do your best, that’s the only sign necessary to confirm you did not take the gift of life for granted.

Be where you are, enjoy what you’re surrounded by, see the privilege in what you’ve been given and be humbled by this: “In the world, today, someone somewhere experienced the complete opposite of what you experienced today. Find humility and courage in that.”

So What Else Can I Become?

Lately, I’ve noticed a sprinkle of pride, self glorification — while it’s sold to my conscious as knowledge of my circumstance and appreciation of my opportunity, I can reduce some more into more humility. Surely, I could be grateful while humble.

What else can I become? I can become learned, increase in the knowledge of the beauty of the world. Appreciative of what gift mankind has been given and what great lengths we’ve gone to make the earth personal. Humans without much script, not in the form that’s immediately understood by the human mind, humans have somehow over the course of thousands of years personalized the earth. For Good or Better.

I can become more accepting of my instruction, to “Assume Good”. I have come to find in my young life that there is often a factor behind the actualization of things, that you do not know. So whichever way things turn out, do not be too hard on yourself, or too big headed because there is a factor (behind the result) that you know not of, a factor that has nothing to do with you (or your actions). So enjoy the result, accept the loss, whatever the outcome may be. You’ve been given the gift to grow, like a tree, take the wind, take the sunshine, take the scarcity of water, take the rain fall, take all, yet grow. At the very least, give your best to you growing.

I can become better with everything that I am, while I somewhat doubt the possibility, my excuse being I might already be stuck in my ways and my interaction and behavior towards all that I am engaged in is simply my limitations and preferred behavior yet I am still cognizant of the fact that improvement is a gift belonging to us all. And I choose to, at this moment, be open to being better in all that I am and connected to.

What Else Can I Become: I Can Rejoice In Honesty and Humility.
Rejoice. Honest. Humble.

I don’t know in what circumstance in your life these words would find you in, I do not know in what life situation I would be in when I find my way back to reading these words in my future but I will say the same thing to you as well as my future self. Smile, don’t take it so personal. You are worthy of all that you are, all that you have, all that you suffer through and all that you enjoy. And you do have things to enjoy, if you don’t see them then your focus is wrong. Do you know your eyes could be fine but your mind could choose for you to be blind? At which point you will physically lose the gift of sight — Hysterical Blindness, it is called. So, as my British friend told me in Madrid, “Chin up”, Face Forward, smile, at least you’re alive to read this, and if there’s life, each breathe should be directed to appreciate, celebrate, heal (if necessary), restore, encourage and propel your being. Be grateful to God, be mystified by the workings of His universe. Clouds could grow into the size of mountains, yet with nothing holding them up. Their top and bottom visible, complete, with no support. Waves rise and fall continuously. Leaves fold and unfold without your involvement. Your blood flows from your heart and back to your heart without you giving the command. Your guts give you information and senses, without it seeing the physical world. You are beautifully made, you did not make yourself, neither did you design where would be garden, where would be desert, and where would be liquid. You simply are, you simply are here, right now, why burden yourself with matters most of which you would not remember in five years, and much more you won’t remember in fifty years. Go outside, take a walk, breathe and more importantly, smile. Nothing is ever that serious. If you could be discouraged or encouraged, choose to be encouraged. You and I may never meet, just as my present self and future self would never meet but I wish you well, for that is all I have to give. Here’s P E A C E, take it. Hold on to it.

May you find encouragement in these words, and if you don’t, read it all over again.

See what’s in front of you.

With Love,

Famous Steve.