Life: Measuring Enjoyment & Satisfaction.
We are predisposed to administer blame yet more likely to take credit. We are only humans afterall.
I’ve often wondered what the difference was between an accomplice and an innocent witness. Have you? Think about it. Take a moment. I’ll wait.
Both people experience the same event, yet interpret and process the experience very differently.
In the past five years with a ton of female assault charges brought to light, I would imagine almost every sensible male would think twice when biting lips, unzipping pants and kissing necks. What then is the difference between conceptual sensual encounters and a future in orange jumpsuits?
Have you wondered why a person would give a five star rating to an establishment, only for another to give one star to the same establishment? Right this moment, I actually am — wondering. It’s not as though the service changed, more likely it didn’t. Think of a book review, it’s the same book, very often the same packaging and design and words yet one person would rave about the excellence while another would yap about the stupidity and utmost ignorance of the author — it’s the same book!
When I was younger, I had a thing for syringes. My thing was simple. “Me and a syringe should never be in the same building at the same time, ever.” I did not like injections, did not want syringes around me and did not like any Doctor who gave me shots, even though, admittedly, it made my fever go away. You see, when I was younger, I was more dedicated to what I liked and brutally honest about what I did not like.
Today, I’m older. And, when a Nurse say’s “we have to get some blood work going”, “get on the scale”, “let’s get your BP”, “which arm?”, as she then plunges the syringe into my arm. Now I don’t want to punch her, I don’t swear to never return to the Doctor’s office, I don’t scream, I don’t cry. It is true I’m unfortunately more emotionless than when I was younger, but honestly at this age, I don’t mind as my precious limited blood ooze from my unique arm into an ordinary syringe. I just seat there and watch the blood flow. Apart from getting older, something changed. What changed?
Don’t get tired yet, let’s consider another. How is it that two people once in love could become the greatest enemies ever known? This is a recurring puzzle I dwell on every time an interaction with a lady goes South. Beyond what went wrong or whether I should reconsider or thrive without — I would ask myself: How is it the girl you couldn’t wait to see, to hug and talk to, now all of a sudden is someone you would pay money not to hear from or run into. What changed? Funny enough, this same scenario — two people becoming joined only to go their separate ways could also, in the future, find its way back to both people resuming the steamy relations they had in the past. Of which that reality would be possible if something changes, but what has to change?
This is what I’m getting at — finally. You see, an accomplice conciously choices to be a part of an activity, a bystander did not. A sizzling encounter between a willing male and a willing female is not yet a crime because both people choose to have their lip bitten and their socks removed. A person gives a delightful rating because the service agrees with the level of expectation they chose. I don’t mind hospital shots now that I’m older not because I love syringes but because I choose to be given a shot. Two people get together, break up and maybe make up based on whether or not the other person matches who they choose to be with. This is the Power of Choice.
Lately, since realizing this concept, I’ve been reconsidering my day to day activities and measuring them based on my choice qualifier. “Was I upset for waiting because I did not choose to spend my time that way?”, “Am I tolerating the pain of a work out because I choose to put myself through the pain or is it a narcissistic tendency?”, “Did I enjoy the conversation because I just haven’t seen them in a while or was it because I chose to remain in the conversation?”.
When we find ourselves in an activity, event or moment that we do not want to be in, most of us are more likely to frown, cross our arms, look away, zone out, smile, try to be present or simply walk away —our level of satisfaction in life, with ourselves, with our work, our overall satisfaction and contentment is heavily reliant on whether or not we chose to be a part of the engagement or not. It’s not forced, it’s not complex. A person would have fun doing something they enjoy. A person would do more of what they enjoy and less of what they don’t. It’s simple really.
You measure your enjoyment and satisfaction in life based on what you choose to be a part of. You are satisfied when you receive what matches the expectation you chose. It stops being enjoyable when you no longer want to be a part of it. You no longer want to be a part of it when it stops being enjoyable.
Joshua 24:15 reads “Choose you this day whom ye will serve”. That’s the furthest thing from a commandment. Because you can be told all the things you must do or else but fear of punishment does not deter a person from choosing to engage. If it did, Wardens would be on unemployment and jail houses would be museums of some sort.
Now I understand why it is absoute folly to first ask a girl’s father if you could marry his daughter before you ask the daughter. I actually did not know which was better until now. It is ridiculous to ask the father first, because it does not matter what the father says, it really doesn’t, since you’re not marrying the father. It is polite to get his acceptance but one should be more worried about the girl saying yes than her father patting you on the head. She has to choose to be in it regardless of whether or not her father chooses for her to be in it. If not, you’d get the body but not the heart, interest or soul.
It gets tricky. Because choice change. Taste change. A person could very well choose one thing only to later on choose something or someone else. How then do you cope?
A doctor could choose a treatment for their patient but the patient choose the sickness over the treatment, what then do you do?
A parent could choose a better future for their child but the child choose a complete U turn of a path, how do you process that?
Free will is like the elements of life. Fire could warm you and/or burn you. Water could clean you and/or drown you. Wind could cool you and/or fling you across counties. Earth could nurture you and/or bury you. Free will could grant you a victorious life or leave you in your own vomit.
With Love,
Famous Steve.
