Individualism: The Social Disconnect in America.
Have you been on the phone with someone you barely know,
listening to them as they venture off the topic of conversation into more personal matters? they keep talking for over thirty minutes, telling you — someone they’ve never met — any and everything about their life?
Americans are starved of conversation. Maybe writing it again will make it sound louder. Americans are starved of conversation.
The internet was one of the best things to happen. People finding a different form of expression. People being able to hide behind screens unleashing thoughts, emotions, judgments close family members would never imagine come out their mouth.
Virtual communication is gradually becoming the human voice.
In the same regard, Customer service (over the phone assistance between two people in America) was one of the worst occupations to happen.
From personal experience, I got to know way too much about people I’d never get to see. Details I doubt their spouse even know.
From favorite sexual acts, gestures that turn them on, to the naughty movies they love, to how much money they spend in a month, to the real way they feel about their spouse — emotions they have to mask due to the responsibility of raising children together. The out pour of emotions from customers you’ll never meet can be too much. And the fact that you might never meet makes it more appealing to unleash secrets and feelings.
Switching seats, I have also called customer service of various companies and ventured off my reason for calling. That dead silence moment while they review my account, especially if I’m talking to the opposite sex, triggers a chit chat and as we talk I start to feel this want to tell her about my day or the most recent thing that’s happened in my life.
People want to talk. People will find a way to talk. Humans were made to express themselves. The societal disconnect today is because people don’t talk to the people around them IRL as much as they talk to those far away from them in virtual life. — Exception being the husband of a wife who loves to talk.
Returning to America from one of my trips abroad, I noticed that 100% of people in close proximity to me on the plane were on their phones. 100%. Even those who raised their head up for a kiss from their partner, seconds later looked back down to their phone.
Have you had to wait for an appointment in a waiting area? Look around the waiting room, count how many people are having conversations with strangers and how many are glued to their phones.
Have you been to a restaurant? count how many people are on their phones while eating dinner with their spouse.
As a man, have you walked into a public bathroom and notice another man who’s taking a piss, with one hand scrolling through the phone?
Have you been inside a car at a red light watching people cross the road?
Pay attention to the number of people who cross the road with their eyes glued to the phone, not looking up for any possible oncoming vehicle.
Virtual reality becoming more hypnotizing is not helping. The increase in use of personal vehicle over buses and trains is not helping. The weight of having to always come off perfect so your peers don’t look down on you, is not helping. Too many people who don’t travel is also not helping.
“If I don’t know you, why are you talking to me” mentality is not helping.
The more individualized we get as a society, the more we are surprised that we never really knew that one person who’s lived next door to us all these decades.
Virtual connection should be used to promote and plan real connection, not be the preferred connection but unfortunately maximizing profit is more key and ethical responsibility is old news.
The phone is not to blame. The constant ease of things, the over simplification of things and the shaming of self control, those are to blame. Not forgetting the ever increasing greed for world domination that drives most big companies.
Most people want their virtual world, away from everybody.
Most people want to be left alone. Many people keep their true self away from everybody. A lot more people have forgotten who their true self ever was.
People can’t talk. People in America are tired. It has to be mentally draining to be bombarded everyday, constantly reminded that there’s a disconnect between you and whoever is next to you, especially if they have a different skin color. ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT SKIN COLOR.
There’s this pretense that we do not experience the same thing, the assumption of “I have it worse”,“that person cannot relate to my story”.
People don’t speak here. It could just be where I live, it could be the states I’ve traveled to or it could be a general social norm across the country.
People fake smile to come off polite. People fake talk. Which is “I bear this one sided conversation till I find a breaking point in the conversation to exit and never speak to you again”. “Why are you still speaking to me?” “somebody help me!”,”what I would give to receive a phone call right now”.
I have these thoughts too! But the more conscious I try to be, the more I try to fight it. I put the phone down, or leave it in the car, or leave it at home, and try to interact with the person sitting next to me in the waiting room, if only they’d look up to notice a human sitting next to them.
I love America. I’m not trying to change America. I’m just holding a mirror to America.
As you go out today, whatever your country of residence is, pay attention to those around you, lend a listening ear to people who say hello.
Put a smile on your face, even if its not for you but for that one person who needs to be reminded that the sun would shine again.
Let your life inspire someone else to live.
Try to fight the instinct to block yourself off from everybody, you don’t have to chit chat all the time but put an effort into listening.
Only when we begin to hear each other, will we begin to help each other.
With Love,
Famous Steve.
