Choice: The Specific Type.
Picture this:
You are to go on a journey. On this journey, you would need a rare gem. A gem so rare you might not find it on your own. This is a once in a lifetime journey. You do not get a re-do.
Behind you is your tribe, your people, standing around the starting line to support one of their own. Out of the members of your tribe, one person volunteers to join you in the search of a gem. If you find your gem, you can begin your journey, succeed and represent your clan properly. But, first you have to find your gem.
The Referee says runners, find your gem. Enter the race!
You both go into search. Your tribe member is more focused on finding that gem, whilst you also search, your focus drifts more on maintaining your conditioning — leg exercise, arm strength, dieting, visioning, (you have to have a gem, yes but the gem is not going to run your race for you, the gem is to boost parts of the race for you). The others on the sideline cheer you both on and give remarks about the clock, hasten and begin your journey!
Suddenly, you hear a shout, your tribe member has found a gem, you rush over, mud all over, you see the gem, it is in fact a gem just not the gem with the preferred benefits to ease your journey. Different gems enhance differently. You politely appreciate then reiterate the specific type of gem to focus on. Seeing how much your tribe member is dedicated to your success, you become overcome with passion and appreciation. While the other tribe members raise their voices to remind you the clock is ticking! Some runners already began their journey, your people, tapping their feet, waits for you to begin yours so they’d have their own candidate in the race to cheer on.
Back to the drawing board, or more specifically to the searching ground, you hurry back, rummaging for a most helpful gem.
Again, your tribe member finds another gem — the fourth gem! this is a better gem but still not the gem you seek, now what do you do?
This scenario sets us up correctly to address what comes below, based on the understanding from the above.
When a person puts in tremendous effort to help you, yet the product of their help is not what you want, what do you do?
When a person goes out of their way, even to the point of burning bridges with others, just to see you better off, yet the product of their effort is not exactly or close to what you desire for yourself, what do you do?
When a person is finding gems you can use but not the gem you await, with you not finding a better gem yourself, what would you do?
Do you stay at the starting line, rumbling grass beds and muttering to yourself, antsy to begin your race because the whole clan is just about wondering how blind you must be to have not seen a “good” gem.
The clan is probably wondering how unorganized you must be to seek and not find even worse, find and not want. How nonchalant, even lazy you have to be to not be moved enough by others who’ve found any ol’ gem and began their journey — hoping they’d work the best they can with the gem they’ve found whilst giving their tribe someone to cheer for.
How ungrateful you must be of your clan’s personal sacrifice to show up for you, they left their houses to be here to cheer you on, yet you give them nothing to cheer for, because you are still at the starting line and refuse to begin!
Put yourself under this insurmountable pressure and tell me what you are most likely to do.
You have a journey ahead of you that you still haven’t started. You have people waiting for you to represent them — their expectation keeps growing as fast as their patience dwindles. You have someone dedicated in helping you but you’ve refused the fruits of their labor because you think a thing is only helpful, if it’s helping, where you need help. And so far, what they’ve found isn’t exactly or doesn’t look exactly as what you want.
What do you do about starting the journey? What do you do with the tribe’s expectation? What’s a way to show great appreciation for the generous efforts of your dedicated tribe’s person?
What would you do?
The first thing that becomes clear now, is the difference between real pressure and social pressure. What’s described is an enormous social pressure to not displease those who expend themselves on your behalf. Expectations, as opposed to an actual deadline to begin the journey.
Let’s simplify. A real pressure would be a timeline where all participants are to either line up, cross the starting line or be disqualified. And this timeline dwindles down with you not finding a suitable gem, at the risk of missing the window to participate in the journey. That is real pressure.
However the social pressure from what’s shared is the fear of being put out from the clan for not meeting up to the group expectation of you. Which is, get ready, get fit, enter the race and give us a winning horse to cheer and gossip about. . .essentially.
Knowing however that if you choose the wrong gem or choose a somewhat worthless gem, the journey becomes incredibly difficult yet the expectation of the tribe continues to soar. You are still expected to win. No tribe wants their only candidate to go out amongst others and lose woefully.
What do you do?
Do you take your time and place yourself in the best situation to do your best, win or lose — knowing you had the best gem, utilized its benefit the best way and you gave your very best to succeed. Even though you might have a lot of “catch up” to do with those who started the race much before you did.
The flip side of this is you can search forever not finding quite the gem that fits exactly the mold you had in mind. Your inaction to begin your race indirectly disqualifying you from the race all together because if you never start, aint you just as good as a disqualified non starter? You could also search for so long, you eventually talk yourself out of the race.
You could search for so long, you take up any ol raggedy gem just to get started, making the journey twice as hard because you have a lot of catching up to do, yet you’ve expensed much energy in gem searching and here you are starting way behind with a not so helpful gem.
What are you to do?
What about the tribe member who dedicated their time, effort and even bridges to offer you valuable gems that weren’t the right value for you. How do you make them not feel unappreciated? Would choosing their gem at the expense of your desired gem be the only way to make them feel appreciated?
Without being anymore specific, you are to take from this what you can.
Two months ago, brilliantly I thought:
You choices are limited to your options. If you have to choose between a good option and a good option — it doesnt matter which you choose, you’d come out with a good option. Want a good choice? Set up good options!
Today, I think brilliantly:
Your choice is only as good as your vision. If you believe your vision is soon to become reality, you make choices that align with that reality, even when contrary or surprising to popular, expected options. You can have one good option and have another good option yet choose neither. Choosing your vision instead.
Make choices that back your vision. If you always go for what’s available, you’d find yourself envying those who have what you want. Yet, be aware that each opportunity you turn down might be the last.
One opportunity does not guarantee there’d be another. Would you rather have no gem, than have this gem?
Life is about choices. Some wait too long to make a move. Some wait forever for the right moment to make a move. Some make a move, right moment or not. Some make a move, right move or not.
The quality of your life is directly proportional to the value of your decisions. The gem you want is an idea, the gem in your hand is reality. When do you sacrifice reality for an idea? when do you turn down an idea for what’s present?
Work out the difference. Life is in the balance of what to hold and what to let go.
Know the times, then choose what would be good for you this time forward not what would have been good for you times past. Find a gem that would help you in your future not a gem that would only get you past the present pressures of the tribe.
Don’t move if God hasn’t moved you. Don’t please people at the expense of displeasing God.
You shouldn’t be concerned about displeasing people, you should be concerned about displeasing God.
With Love,
Famous Steve.
